It’s been nearly four months since A Song Beyond Walls’s birth unto the world, and you may be wondering…NOW WHAT?
I am wondering the same thing.
It’s not a matter of not having any ideas, it’s actually the opposite. I have too many ideas and no certainty of which to follow. I’m not even sure which genre feels right at the moment, because in a way several feel fitting, and then in the same instance none of them do.
And if I’m being honest, I feel a battle between my ego and my natural writing flow. My ego wants to prove that I can write bold and powerful things (like my villainous, ultra-symbolic fantasy series), while my natural writing flow is gravitating toward dulcet tales that aren't weighted with too much meaning. Finding a common ground between the two has been difficult. And I blame the chaos of the past year which has me wanting to avoid conflict at all costs, and simply write of clement spring days.
So, what have I been doing? Well, I have been working on EVERY IDEA I HAVE. And it’s as self-sabotaging as it sounds, albeit not completely unproductive. One novel I’m working on has reached its fourth chapter (and getting through the preliminary chapters of a book is always the most challenging), and another two have been flowing very easily through me. I just don’t know which of them I ought to focus on, if any of them at all!
I suppose, in the back of my mind, (or perhaps this is my ego, too) I am thinking of literary agents and the publishing world, and the pressure to have a story that EVERYONE will love, not just me. Even though I know that isn’t a possibility and that I really should just write the stories I want to read. What is the purpose of writing books if they don’t come naturally to you and you don’t enjoy them? But at the same time…I now know how the publishing world works, and I would LIKE to be at least somewhat successful. And my personal taste isn’t always what’s ‘successful’.
But that is just me sharing my internal battle. I am in no way going to force myself to write something that I’m not passionate about just for a shot at success. That’s not why I write nor is it why anyone reads. But no story has yet struck me with unshakable passion, and it’s from there my confusion stems.
Here are the books I have been working on, however:
1 Eastern-inspired adult fantasy, which is actually a part of my fantasy universe (like an origin tale)
1 Victorian-Gothic adult fiction
1 Adult Historical Fiction/ Fairytale Retelling
1 Victorian/Georgian YA fantasy romance
1 fantasy fairytale YA/MG (I’m still trying to figure out the reading level/audience)
2 children’s books
The sequel to my fantasy series, which is completely paused due to my series still being unpublished
And then…the sequel to ASBW. (Yes, there will be a sequel! But I don’t have all the details for it yet, therefore it’s still just in the outlining stage).
And there are, really, a dozen more which I have ideas for that I’m not focusing on AT ALL right now, so I won’t mention them here, but…just know there’s more than this burdening my brain!
I feel like the caterpillar from The Very Hungry Caterpillar (“…one slice of swiss cheese, one lollipop, one slice of cherry pie, one ice cream cone…”) *moms collectively giggle*
So far, the Eastern-inspired adult fantasy has been flowing the easiest through me, so I have been devoting the most time to it. I haven’t mentioned on my website or on social media, but just as much as I love Gothic/Historical tales do I also love Eastern lore and culture and have always dreamed of writing it. So that part is thrilling to me, but the story itself has yet to reel me in completely.
Perhaps the deeper I dig into the story, I will find a unique flare of passion which will set me ablaze. But until then, I shall keep writing, and provide updates when they become available.
As always, thank you for reading. And please feel free to leave a comment or send me an email if you have any thoughts you would like to share <3
(my email is writersnescobar@gmail.com)
evidence of me being productive
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